Life of Kika Collage

Friday, January 24, 2014

Blogger Diary Entry 4,309,349,96,589...

For anyone who thinks that this is a first world problem, than they are probably right...but in all honesty I have a feeling that every 21 year old has a difficult time adjusting from being a child to becoming a responsible adult. I'm out of college and I have a job. I should be thankful, Yes, but I feel stuck knowing that I have so much more to learn and improve on. And being the know it all that I am I hold onto this arrogance that I have figured everything out. I'm stuck in this world where I am trying as a daughter, as a designer and as an employee.  
But because I live a comfortable life, I don't know how to push myself.
I'm currently working with a few clients, and I can focus on is self promotion (*Whatever that is*). For now on, I'm sewing and updating my Facebook Page as much as possible. I can only access the internet at my job whenever the hour seems kinda dead. From now on I really want to build up a real cliental and not be so lazy. I've been stretching my video game sessions for a few more hours rather than to be productive with my free time. I mean I have been releasing photos of my new Resort Designs on my Facebook Page ( and I am preparing for going back to college. I'm just not as busy as maybe a 21 year old should be.
 I'm not saying this because of the new year and all.. This is just me being complacent.  
I have to admit that I am jealous of others who seem to have it together. And I often have my days where I compare myself to others and my self esteem turns to shit. This is not at all a healthy way of thinking.  My peers and loved ones keep telling me that everyone follows their own path and being envious of others doesn't get you anywhere in life. But once you feel the envy, you start to think that whatever you'll do for yourself will never live up to the standards of what others have done with themselves.
Maybe this seems like a pity party.
Is anyone else dealing with this kind of crap? There has to be?

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