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Sunday, November 24, 2013

Etiquette Lessons from Hyacinth Bucket (From Keeping Up Appearances)

The holidays are near and it's that time of year where you have uncomfortable dinners with your foreign family members. And it is important to leave a good impression on them because one slip of the tongue from drinking too much egg nogg (Laced with only the finest booze) and they will talk shit about you for the rest of the year. Hyacinth Bucket or the Lady Bouquet herself epitomizes class and grace. It's important to let people know that in end that you are better than every one in the family.
Here are a few tips to behave around those judgmental cousins of yours....
Clean up your house. You don't want to find and critters crawling around your kitchen counters near the uncooked ham or turkey. The cleaner you are, the less your family members can complain about your living space.

Try not to be awkward when hosting your party. Just breath and try not to walk like you're holding in a deadly fart. Before your guests arrive, sip on some booze to relax and use the bathroom to get all the awkward urges out of you.

Make sure that you are wearing something that is fairly comfortable. Nothing is worse than wearing that weird holiday sweater that is too tight after eating 5 plates of Christmas pie.

If you live in a small space, try to give your guests as much room as possible. No more awkward bump sessions with your creepy uncle.
And last thing, if you are going to fake being classy go all the way through. Don't start to get really drunk in the middle of the party and start revealing all the messed up stories about certain family members. Just p[pretend to be the best version of yourself and all will go well. In the end, they might give you money and say that you were a lovely host.

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